Performing Monkey

Some people know I do magic.

They will ask me to show them some, a lot of times their favourite trick they have seen before. The thing that happens a lot of that they will have me go around showing people they know so magic. I think it comes from wanting to share the experience they had. Seeing it first hand is better than just telling people about what they saw. We as humans like to have our feeling validated. You only need to look at some youtube music video comments to see that. People will wail about the fact that their favourite song has song dislikes or that if you don’t like this song you have no taste in music. People like to share their lives. We do spent a lot of time telling stories about our lives when we are together.
I tell stories about my travels, how I missed a day of college because my neighbour had police with sub-machine guns pointed at his house and I did not want to walk past their line of fire. I talk about all the good and crazy times I have had with my friends, when my drink got spiked by this weird man, a guy begging for money then asking me to do him sexual favours (should he really be giving people money before he asks?).

Now I understand this so most of the time when they ask I show them what they want to see. This is why I do magic in the first place. To share an experience, to entertain and maybe give someone a good memory. There is a line though, where I stop being a person but a source of entertainment. If I have go out for a laid back drink after work on a Friday and I want to relax. Then I should be allowed to say not this time and not cause any offence. Sometimes I do. I am a person with needs too, sometimes I just really don’t want to be the centre of attention. I really don't like being the centre either. You may find that hard to believe seeing as a perform (which in its self, causes all eyes to be on me). The thing is I do not think there is anything perfect in this world. I like to go for a drink now and then but I will have a sometimes suffer the hangover. I have to choose if I am willing to take the good with the bad every time I choose to drink. I am choosing to have a hangover the next day the moment I enter the pub. I am choosing to be a little awkward to share something I love. The enjoyment of performing magic out weights the bad of being put on the spot, being surrounded by people.

Let get back on point. I have my own wants and needs. So does everyone else. I just feel I need to balance them. I really don’t mind showing people magic as long as they know that I am a person not a magic machine. An entertainment system. I do understand it can be disappointing that I am not going to show some of your friends this time some arcane trick but please understand me too. When I do let someone down I do promise them that next time I will show them the next time I see them.

Once I was in Litchfield and I ended up talking to this guy. In the conversation it was revealed that I did magic. (I hate the idea of showing off so I try not to drop the fact that I’m a wizard. But again it not like it is a secret. People what known me for month and not known until someone mentions the fact to them.)
After asking me to show him some magic he seems to attach himself to me. He wanted to me to go around showing other people even though I expressed that I did not really want to. He would introduce me as his friend like we have known each other for years and then ask me to show them something. Now I can never be sure but I think I am quite good when it comes to people. He was using me as an extension of himself. It was a much smaller version of the time this guy would not pay for something and threw out that he is related to a famous person. That somehow being connected to someone like that increases your own worth. Now I do want to sound harsh but I don’t know of a way to say it without being clear.

He was trying to share in the prestige. Don't get me wrong he wanted me so show off and be amazing in front of people too. I bet part of him wanted to be my wing man and everything.


I don’t want to seem that this is a common thing. Most people don’t. Sometimes they may get carried away. Sometimes it feel like they are as different group all come up to me to perform. Sometimes it because people have noticed that I have been doing magic and want to see some too and it ends up that I have been doing magic for an hour and a half.

This point doesn't stop at magic. I have seen people be so very nice to random strangers but treat serving staff like shit. Seeing people in a trade, career, profession being attacked for not being perfect and making mistakes. Teenagers being awkward as hell as they not see that their parents are people too and don’t do anything like you should expect. We are humans first, our jobs, hobbies, titles, duties last.
Me being a magician is a small part of what makes me, me. Sometimes people do not see that. Not hard feeling if you have done this. I just wish that people would see the other sides of me too.